The Stalkatron

Do you ever find yourself siting on a grey blob, on a video game website, like steam, thinking whether or not to accept a friend request, just because s/he is good at a game? Well look no more:

 Introducing, the Stalkaton! It helps you view a gamer through there screen. What? No, it's not hacking into their devices camera, or computer screen, making their facial features totally disposable to the world, psht, what? No... Well anyways, with a click of this button, you can see how old, or how swag that person looks, before accepting their friend requests. Even if they don't have a camera, this thingy allows you to hack, um... I mean look into their files, to reveal their identity, or who they really are. 

And once you press it, " Wallah", the Stalkaton goes at work. And no more "friends", like this one here: 

The Stalkatron: absolutely safe, and minding your own beeswax. Not available in stores near you.

WARNING: IF CAUGHT USING THIS OBJECT, imprisonment may be given from 10 to 125 years. May also result in sudden death if water is put onto it by laughter. No rapping or stalking intended. Enjoy! .